Improving father-son relationships
One of the greatest joys in a man’s life is the day he becomes a father to a son. He knows since then he is going to raise a buddy, a best friend for life. That’s why he must also know how to be a good father to your son.
But with time, raising boys has become tough and challenging.
Surveys also say young boys in this era show symptoms of ADHD, which they are highly prone to, and there has been a decline in their mental health as well.
It is all because of the growing dependency on technology, social media, and the outdated way in which parents raise their boys.
All of these reasons show how important it is for parents to realise that raising sons need them to be more thoughtful and insightful.
Especially Dads! Because a father is more like a role model to his son and he will always follow the examples that you set.
So, to raise a good son, you need to be a good father and I have here some insights on how to be a good father to your son, or say the best one.
Here’s to being your boy’s superhero!
What a Son needs from his Dad
What a father needs to do is build a bond with his son that is strong and everlasting. You need to be your little boy’s hero, best friend, and confidante.
You will be his best influence into adulthood and it is from you from whom he should learn how to make the most of his life. And here’s how.
1. He needs to know that you love his mother.
Your son will learn how to love from you. When you show him how to do that by loving your wife, his mother, he will know how to show affection towards her, and all other women that he will ever meet.
Devote your life to his mother and show him that love is all about expressing your love towards the other through your actions and also, with words at times – because women love it! 😉
You being a dedicated husband will help him be one too when it is his time. Your love can give him a strong foundation for all his relationships in life.
He will learn how to care, show respect and affection towards all. And just like you want to learn how to be a good father to your son, he will also aspire to become one.
2. Teach him how to bounce back after a failure.
Don’t be all about winning and success.
It is very common for a father to want his son to be a winner at life, to do well in everything that he chooses to do. But is winning everything?
Teaching your son to be unbeaten may put him under too much parental pressure and will ultimately lead to anxiety, stress and depression.
This will affect the relationship you have with your son. He will think of you as someone who is too controlling and will never be able to share his failures with you.
As a dad, you need to keep your pride aside and dedicate yourself to show your son that life is all about a series of failures that will eventually lead to success.
You need to teach him from a young age that failures are a chance to learn better and acquire more knowledge and better oneself.
You can also talk about your failures and tell him how you’ve handled them as you were also learning about how to be a good father to your son.
When he sees his father all determined to solve his life’s problems and deal with his struggles and failures, he will learn how important a teacher failure is in our lives.
He will get inspired by you and will know that come what may, he has to show grit and deal with the failures with all his might.
3. Affirmation and loving him despite his bad choices will show him that you care.
Always remember your boy will need little words of encouragement from you.
There will be days when he won’t be able to love himself, feel low, or he would expect you to do that because he just achieved a big feat in his life.
When he will look at you, he will always expect you to tell him that no matter what, you love him.
Words of affirmation like, “I love you, my boy”, “I’m proud of you, champ”, “I knew you would do it”, “You can do it, son”, “That is an amazing piece of play you just did”, “You paint so well, my boy”, “I knew this didn’t go well but you will rock it the next time” go a long way in letting your young one feel loved and appreciated.
Similarly, you need to understand gradually how to be a good father to your son while your little one is growing up, he will make a lot of choices that will be different than your regular interests and may even be wrong.
He may end up making mistakes too. But your love for him should accept his choices with an open heart, wrong or right, different or similar.
This will help you grow your relationship stronger and give a boost to his self-esteem. He will know that his dad has got his back like a steady rock support.
4. Inculcate discipline in him with love.
Disciplining kids is very important, especially from a young age. You need to teach them the difference between what is wrong and right, with love.
You need to teach your little boy basic manners with utmost patience and understanding. Show them how being polite and kind towards others and giving a smile to people in need works wonders.
But remember, he is only a kid. He will make mistakes just like you did when you were his age. Don’t tell him you were perfect.
He needs to know that mistakes are made by everyone. But what matters is how we correct them. And we must.
Teach him that all our words and actions have consequences and so, we must choose them wisely.
If you refrain from disciplining your kids as a robust parent, you will see how well your kid shapes up as he grows into an adult.
5. Focus on improving father son relationships by listening to him.
Getting involved in activities that you can both do, together, and making time for father-son outings.
Communication serves as the lifeline of a strong and healthy father-son relationship.
But, men are generally considered to be bad at communicating their feelings, emotions, and what goes on in their mind.
To break this stereotype, from a very young age, learn to listen to whatever your son has to say. Keep in mind that you need to listen and not be the one to talk.
Go on road trips with him, spend some time on lunches and dinner, ask him how was school or college, be his pal and find time to listen to what your champ is up to.
Make sure you give him a judgement-free environment where he feels comfortable to blurt it out in front of you.
This will go a long way in making him emotionally intelligent and he’ll understand it’s okay to open up.
It isn’t easy to follow the map of how to be a good after to your son, but if you keep working towards it, you will become one.
While we’re talking about road trips and father-son dine outs, what I can think of is how important it is for the duo to spend quality time with each other, especially when they’re doing things that they love.
So, take your son out to basketball and football games if both of you love sports. Make time to score some baskets and goals yourself!
Go out on once every weekend or month and make it a ritual and see how pumped up your son will be when the day arrives. Dance to his favourite music. Teach him how to ride a bike.
Let him ride your two wheeler and be around him to protect him. When he’s the right age, teach him how to drive a car, and be the buddy he needs then.
Share each other’s favourite music. Paint together. Go shopping for his mom. Watch movies together. Cook meals. In simple words, do anything that both of you love.
Together and individually! It will strengthen your bond and you will be each other’s best friends.
6. Teach him that the world won’t be fair to him and he’ll have to face his own battles to make his life worth living. Share your life experiences to inspire him.
Let your son know that life won’t always be easy for him. The world is full of mean people that he may meet at some or the other point in life.
Make sure you teach him how to deal with them and not let these positive energy suckers decide how he should feel about himself.
Help him understand that he deserves respect and teach him how to earn it from people. Teach him how to fight back when it’s necessary but with words. He should also know that at times, silence works the best.
There will be many times where life will put your son to test. Make sure he knows how to battle those times out.
Also, most important is he should know how to choose which battle is worth putting his armour on. Teach him how to pick the Everest he feels is worth climbing!
You know what will help? Instances from your life. Talk to him about your life experiences and tell him about those times when you were constantly at war with life trying to prove your mettle.
You will inspire him. He will know that if his father can do it, he can do it too.
There will be times when your experience will be different from your son’s because both of you would be following different passions.
But be mindful of never showing your passion as the greater one than his.
It’s a great milestone in how to be a good father to your son, when your son asks you for an advice on the matter of personal issues, goals and difficult situations.
7. Show him how the familial values matter the most in life.
Family is everything that a person has in life.
Because at the end of the day, they will always have your back, stand beside you, no matter what, be there with you through thick and thin, and are the only people who will love you unconditionally.
So, let your boy know that he will always have his family and that he will be loved until the very end.
Make sure he learns all the familial values like sharing with each other, caring for each other, being kind, working hard, respecting each other, helping each other, being truthful and being all about love.
All of these will be the form the basis of his growing up years.
8. You will know why a son needs a dad when you realize sons learn a lot from their fathers. All that you do has an influence on your son.
Sons learn a lot from their dads just by watching them and I cannot deny that! As your little one will watch you talk to other people, he will learn to do the same.
When he sees the way you interact with his mother, he will understand how to respect women.
Similarly, when he watches you talk to other men, to him that will serve as the basis of his relationships with the men in his life.
No matter what you do, he will learn from you. So, focus on setting good examples in front of him. Good visual examples!
9. Don’t shy away from talking about sex education and values about relationships.
No. Don’t avoid the talk. There’s nothing to be afraid of it. As your sons grow up, talking to them about sex education and teaching them the right things is so important.
As they enter adolescence, it will help them in their attitude development towards women & sex.
Generally, adolescents misuse internet for this purpose, talk to their friends and gather all the wrong information, misunderstand all the changes that happen in their bodies and more.
Just like you are searching about how to be a good father to your son, your son might be searching several questions online and they may get misinformed if you don’t talk to them.
Once you are open to the sex talk with your boy, you will impart knowledge, avoid trouble for him, and help him in his attitude development.
Also, talk to him about his friends, girls, relationships, and teach him how to deal with each and everyone in his life.
Make sure he treats everyone with respect and puts in effort, and time in his relationships as well.
Show him how beautiful friendships and all other relationships are and teach him to nurture each of those for life.
10. Your son considers you as his superhero. So, be one, at all times. Be there for him.
The day you become a father you become a superhero to your son. Like he’s a champ for you, you are a boss man to him. You have the strength of all the superheroes combined he reads about in the comics.
So, be that for him. Be his Iron Man and save his day. Like Captain America, teach him how it’s important to be good.
Most importantly, be there for him at all times like the best Daddy in the world.
Learn how to be a good father to your son and make the world a better place by raising super boys! 😊